Behavior Jar

I’m taking Sam’s advice, and we will promptly institute the Behavior Jar.  Maybe Sam can tell us a bit more how she does. What are the rules?

We will start this weekend, and the rules will go something like this:

Positive Behavior:
Cleaning up room
Making bed in the morning
Helping do the dishes (loading and unloading dishwasher)
Setting the table

Take bead away
for not listening (at home)
For not listen at school (separate bead)
talking back

And beads earn her:
5 beads movie on the weekend (at home)
2 beads one more show in the evening
5 beads going to park on the weekend
10 beads going to the movie theater

Something like that. We have to test it out to make sure these are enough beads.

My sister-in-law suggested that we all three sit down and discuss what the rules should be.  That’s a good idea as it will keep her engaged and she is participating in the program.  But I think these will be the major rules.

Our major battles are over what she will wear to school, and getting ready for bed.  For school she constantly wants to wear a skirt with no tights. I keep telling her no because it’s cold. Bedtime she doesn’t want to wear pants, but in the morning she comes in our room and her little legs are FREEZING because she kicked off the blanket.  For the skirt I usually let her wear it as long as she puts tights under it. And that is the battle.  Yesterday, she cried all the way from the house to day care… and we walked.

This morning, the battle over the skirt was minimal because it’s freaking hot and humid here today, so she got to wear a skirt with no tights. And tomorrow is picture day, so I assume we can all calmly pick a dress for her to wear.


About RidgewoodMom

Thirtysomething mom of a baby girl. First and only baby, possibly. First baby amongst my close friends. These are the trials, frustrations and lessons I have learned in raising a single child in New York.
This entry was posted in Freaking Fours, Mommy Dearest, Running away to Patagonia, Social Ills and such, Star of the her own movie. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Behavior Jar

  1. Sam says:

    I wish I could offer reward jar advice, but it hasn’t worked that well for us, more so because us parents haven’t used it consistently. We generally don’t have rules, just use the beads to bribe with whenever needed, which does work but so far they must have about 20 beads and they are nowhere near close to the reward line, which is a toy of their choosing. Maybe we should use bigger beads. Someone told us to never remove beads as a punishment as it lessens them winning a bead and they might not be so inclined to win a bead if they think it can be taken away…Who knows, whatever works for everyone really. We definitely need to put it back in place though as we have had some terrible behavior too. Actually both my girls are keen to be bear legged too and only want to wear summer dresses now, although I have managed to convince them to wear a sweater. I witnessed the worst meltdown ever last week over wearing, shock horror, leggings. Even Grandma had to shout at them. I’m past caring with the dresses, I will let them get sick or cold and then tell them it was their choice. As a good behavior reward (and rest for mum) I have been letting them play games on the new peppa pig website and they are great. Easy enough for them to play on their own without me helping them…

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