There’s pregnancy brain, where your brain can turn to mush, when simple tasks as adding 1+1 = 4. Remember things like taking the dog for a walk is not remembered. Everything becomes a hassle and super difficult. My friend ended up measuring something completely inaccurately, and hence ordered a bed that was way too big for the space. And she measured it three times to make sure she got it right (aka, she tried to account for pregnancy brain, but the pregnancy brain was much smarter than that. )
Mommy brain is similar, in that the awful trauma your new born and toddler puts you through, you forget the second things get better. I think maybe that’s why more couples think about having a second baby once the first one is like 3. 3 is blissful and heaven compared to the earlier time of 2 and 11 months. 3 is a like a magical threshold when your toddler becomes a preschooler. WARNING: the actual age may vary child to child, so don’t take this as the final word. I think O’s was like late October maybe even early November, when things became better.
This weekend, Tarte Titou invited me to Scandinavia House with P-Dot and Hubby. DH was working so O and I went. It was a lovely time. Upstairs, if you get passed the slow moving elevator jammed with people and make it to the 4th floor, a whole new world opens up. Full of toys, all these Swedish fancy toys. Toys that probably cost like $30 a wooden train car. It was lovely! We got to talking and they told me these horror stories about P-Dot having temper tantrums for 2 hours straight. And how he was not eating, and not sleeping. I probably looked horror stricken. I mean, P-Dot MUST love his parents. Why would he treat them this way?
This is where the Mommy Brain comes in. It’s amnesia for a time before age 3. I should have said, don’t worry, it gets better. I know it’s hard to see the silver lining. It’s hard to see a time when the temper tantrums will end or at least be far and few between. When you don’t have to fear moving him from one place to another in case you wake him. But what did I do? I had NO advice. I had no advice, because I couldn’t remember that time. I was blank. I couldn’t relate, because a mommy instinct kicked in when my brain forgot/ blocked it out. Blocked out the screaming crying. Blocked out the whining (although it still happens, I can talk her down form HOURS of whining.) Blocked out the spending 45 minutes to make food from scratch and then not eating it. Blocked out the fact that every waking moment was spent entertaining a toddler, because the toddler refused to entertain herself.
Only when I get home and I tell DH, and he says, I remember those days. Me shocked, You do? He: Yeah, it was terrible. But it will pass.
So, Tarte Titou, you too will forget, and only remember the wonderful things after age 3. And Mommy Brain will kick in, and you will be happy!