Bad Mother

This week has been really rough. The cold, and the fact that it’s dark when I get up, it’s dark when I come home has really, really brought me down. I just want to sleep ALL the time.  This of course is not always the case since O does not cooperate.  But on Thursday this week, I did the worst thing a parent can do. I was so tired, had a bad day at work, and I just didn’t want to deal with O’s nonsense. So I forced her to go to sleep earlier than what she wanted.  I forced her in her PJ. I forced her in the chair to read the bedtime stories. And worst, I cut down the number of stories from potential 10 to only 3.  That’s right…. I was slightly mean.  I did not play with her that night. I “forced” (a term I use really loosely)  her to do what I wanted. This means, that instead of interacting with her and the the puzzle game, I just sat on the floor and went through the motions.  She must not have had a nap at day care, because the fight she put up I would not describe as having her whole heart into it or her full determination to stay up was defintely not displayed.  But still…

Needless to say, on Friday on the way home form work, I had the mental pep talk to psyche me up. You are her mother!  You don’t want to put her in therapy for the rest of her life. She’s a cute kid and deserves better. Just because you are not in the mood doesn’t mean that she needs to suffer.  You must do better. YOU MUST BE BETTER!!!

And I tried, and I hope I was.

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About RidgewoodMom

Thirtysomething mom of a baby girl. First and only baby, possibly. First baby amongst my close friends. These are the trials, frustrations and lessons I have learned in raising a single child in New York.
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