My Mom, Me and My Daughter

O is the first grandchild on my side of the family.  On my DH’s side she is the 4th.  So that side is pretty calm at this point.  And the difference between O and the next youngest cousin is almost 5 years, she is the TOTAL baby.  And I guess that being the mother of the father is different than being the mother of the mother.  I hear stories that my mother in law (MIL for short) used to be really harsh on my sister in law (SIL… I know, maybe too many acronyms).  But not with me. She is actually a calming voice for me.  It’s also possible that her daughter and my MIL see things differently.  SIL is a bit a of a hippy, organic embracing, and chemical free lifestyle.  Complete opposite of her mother. I on the other hand am a bit more aligned in views with my MIL.  Not everything, but I guess closer than her daughter.

Now, on the other hand, my mother is a complete nutball (all in the kindest and most loving of ways).  Don’t get me wrong, she has been completely supportive, and super nurturing.  But at the same time, totally overbearing and sometimes a bit suffocating.  There are so many examples of her craziness and complete obsessiveness, I don’t even know where to begin, or if I begin have enough space and memory allotment on the blogspace to describe all of them. I will touch upon the highlights.

The latest idea is for my parents to get a boat so we can vacation together ALL the time.  Be in close confined quarters for long periods of time.  The problem with this is 1. they know NOTHING about boats. 2. If we go out to sea, let’s just say only one of us will make it back in one piece.

Today I received an email with her online basket for a baby site.  In it were among other useless things two Halloween costumes.  Now, don’t get me wrong that she is thinking of O’s costume for Halloween, but since this is O’s first Halloween, I as the mother would like to pick out and buy her costume.  I know, it sounds selfish.  But don’t judge me until you mother does the same!!

We went to visit them, and DH and I escaped to the movies, and left O with her grandparents.  Because O cried herself for like 45 minutes before falling asleep, she was ready to come to the movie theater, and get us out of the movie and/ or take O to the hospital.  We didn’t tell them what movie we were going to, just a general time of what time the movie started.  The movie theater was one of the megaplexes with 10 movies starting at the same time. So she would have had quite a challenge to find us, but I have no mistaken disillusion that if she wanted to, she would have stopped all 1o movies until we came out.

Before O was even born, the ideas were even crazier.  I will not bore you with the details, that I am sure even if I wrote them down, you wouldn’t believe me.  Everyday my friends would ask, so what’s the latest crazy idea?  They were just out of control.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom.  When I ask for advice, she always has really good suggestion or ideas.  And after having O, I have a new found respect for what she has done for me and my sister.  But at the same time, I want her to respect mine and my DH’s decision and how we want to raise O.  And in the last few months she has backed off.  The craziness is just below the surface waiting to rear its ugly head with some new and wacky idea.


About RidgewoodMom

Thirtysomething mom of a baby girl. First and only baby, possibly. First baby amongst my close friends. These are the trials, frustrations and lessons I have learned in raising a single child in New York.
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