Yesterday, when I picked up O from school, I was told that she and Rose, her BFF, got in a pretty big fight. Apparently all the kids were outside playing, and O didn’t want to play the way Rose and her other girlfriends were playing, then in a fit of anger, she pushed Rose. Rose started crying. The teacher asked her to apologize for pushing her. O was upset, huffy and puffy, and refused to say apologize. Instead she crossed her arms, and sat down by herself, criss-cross-applesauce (also known as Indian style). Only when she was told that if she doesn’t apologize she will go in the big kids room, which is a general punishment if the kids in the middle room (O’s class) don’t listen. And if the big kids don’t listen they are sent to middle room. This is a really effective punishment. O apologized, but O was still upset.
When we got home, we talked about feelings. It’s ok to feel angry or sad or frustrated, but it’s not ok to hit or push others. We read a book about feelings. And Ladybug Girl and Bumblebee Boy are upset with each other too, but I asked her, what do they do? She shrugs. Well, they talk to each other and figure out a game they can both play and enjoy.
As a side note, which will make the next statement make more sense, on Monday we found out that Christian is going to a different school. The teacher confirmed that because of his behavior issues, he was kicked out of school. He kept hitting, kicking, and spitting at the teachers and other kids, that he became so disruptive to the other kids.
So now back to last night. As I was putting her to bed, she tells me that she will be good on Friday. I asked her to be good everyday. And she said, It’s bad to be angry! I said, no, it’s not bad to be angry. You can be angry, you just can’t hit or push other people when you are angry or mad. Then she says, I don’t want to go to another school like Christian, through tears.
I didn’t make the connection until this morning. She thinks that if she is bad, she too will have to go to a different school. I guess it’s good that she has created her own worst case scenario in her head. She just needs to not hit or push.